I'm really into burlesque style, except the stripping and the showing my boobs bit :D I mean the tutus and the vertical striped tights and the gloves and the corsets and... ok, everything. I like it very much.
I had to go to a gay friendly event; it takes place in the summer and lasts two months, and there are two dance floors (one on the outside, one on the inside), countless bars, restaurants, shops (there's a lovely vintage shop too <3), info zone, a place where you can put a sign for gay unions (in my country they still don't want gay people to marry, which is why I'm going to leave soon, unless they turn it into a civilized country in one year time), et cetera.
Being a gay friendly event, of course there are a lot of drag queens and dancers who dress in the most bizarre ways, which is great. People used to show off their best outfits in this place: I once met a group of kids who came there in their underwear. Seriously. One of them was just wearing a pvc thong and a pvc vest. (And shoes. And a lot of make-up). What I'm trying to say is that you could wear ANYTHING you wanted and nobody would ever have bothered you, ever (especially if you were a girl among a bunch of gay guys :D).
This is why I've always loved to go to that place: I can dance by myself in the dance floor without guys hitting on me or, worse, dancing behind me and rubbing themselves against my butt.
This year, though, lots of heterosexual people have come to this event. Which means that the outfits have suddenly toned down, and that you can't just go and dance with your girl friends: now there are the het guys on the sides of the dance floors looking at you dancing. God I hate that. You know, that way they look at girls, with their cheeky grins, arms crossed, nodding and staring at every part of your body. Not at all embarrassing, huh?
(Sorry about the quality, next thing I do will be buying a new camera -_-)
This is what I was wearing (except for the shoes, I was actually wearing my Bordellos) while I was going into the inside dance floor and a jerk came to me, grabbed my hips, held me against his pelvis (all against my will, of course) and, staring at my boobs, told me "What a nice dress" in that horrible lustful way (he clearly wasn't talking about my dress, which was a corset + tutu btw, you idiot).
I pushed him and told him something along the lines of "Fuck off, you asshole" (I'm probably quoting literally); he didn't apologize, of course, but what astonished me was that the moment I pushed him he was already turning around and going away; he didn't even listen to my insults. In his mind, I wasn't even worth that time: I didn't want any, so onto the next, as quickly as possible, without wasting time on what the girl he had just harassed had to say.
What does my outfit have to do with that? Nothing, imho. He would probably have harassed me even if I was in a t-shirt and jeans. I'm sure they don't seriously think we're "easier" for wearing corsets and heels and fishnet gloves; who would I try to seduce in a place that's full of gay guys, in front of my boyfriend on top of that?
Here's what they think: they know that if you're dressing, as they like to define us, "provocatively" (and I'm really curious to know who would I want to "provoke", again, among gay guys and in front of my boyfriend), people aren't going to reproach them for their behaviour because "with that outfit, she was obviously asking for it".
I won't mention the countless stares, which I had never gotten until het guys came here and made the place theirs; I'll just mention the one I came across after being harassed, when I was so angry that I actually responded him the way I would like to respond every time a man stares at my ass and boobs on the street, but I don't because when it happens I'm alone (they always wait for you to be alone, of course) and I'm afraid they're even going to hurt me: I said "Look somewhere else, thank you" in a very annoyed way. He gave me the "wtf is wrong with you bitch" look, as if I'd jumped at his throat for absolutely nothing (the look they always give you when you protest against their stares) and I gave him my "AM I CLEAR...?" look, and that was it (a friend of mine said he was still staring at me minutes later, though, but at least he wasn't doing it blatantly).
What happened made me very angry. I'm so sick and tired of this attitude. Is there any place safe from harassment? And the worst thing is that there are people, even women!!, who go "ok but look a your outfit, I mean, you should know you're going to get stares, if you put it on anyways it means you want them / you shouldn't be bothered because you know that is going to happen".
Once and for all: WOMEN SHOULD DRESS HOWEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT AND NOT BE HARASSED OR STARED AT ON THE STREET OR WHATEVER PLACE. The first thing your parents teach you when you're a little child is "you don't have to stare at strangers, that's not polite" so why isn't this still valid when you are a grown-up and you're supposed to have learnt how to behave yourself?
I'm never going to take the blame for the harassment I get, NEVER. And I wish that guy bangs his little toe on the corner of every door on earth forever.
... no, ok, I don't want to be polite or peaceful, I'm really pissed off. I hope someone breaks his wrists and every single one of his fingers, and then we'll see how many girls he can grab as if they were his property.